AITA for telling my boyfriend I read the reviews before every restaurant he picks?
me (28F), dating someone new about six months, still in the good part. he loves picking places. it's genuinely one of my favorite things about him. the thing is i check every one. i read reviews, i look at the menu, i check whether there's something i can actually eat, because i have a shellfish thing that's mild but real and i don't like making it a whole conversation at the table. he found out last week because i said something about a dish being different from the photos and he asked how i knew. he got quiet and then said he thought he was surprising me and it turns out i've been managing him for six months. he said the surprising part was the part he liked. i didn't think of it as managing. i thought of it as not having a shellfish conversation with a waiter in front of a man i like. now he's picking places and asking me to confirm i've checked, which is somehow worse than either version.
What People Are Saying
NTA. You have an allergy. Checking a menu is not managing someone, it's the baseline thing anyone with a food restriction does before every meal of their life.
NTA but him asking you to confirm you've checked is him trying to make it a joint thing. Clumsy, but that's not sulking, that's an attempt.
restaurant side: we WANT you to call ahead. the surprise he's mourning costs you a hospital trip in the bad version.
ESH lightly — six months of not telling him about the allergy conversation is its own kind of managing, and he's allowed to feel odd about it.
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@crystald_glam+161
the real post is you didn't want to have the shellfish conversation in front of him for six months. that's the bit to tell him.
@priyac_eats
that's exactly it and i somehow explained the reviews instead of that