Should I accept a dinner invitation from a woman in my book club or stay home?

My wife, Margaret, passed three and a half years ago after thirty-one years of marriage. I am 71, retired accountant, and I have kept a fairly regimented life since then: crossword every morning, library on Tuesdays, book club on Thursdays. There is a woman in the book club, Carol (69F), widowed about five years now, who has asked me to dinner twice before and I declined both times, politely, citing prior commitments that did not actually exist. Last Thursday she asked again, plainly this time, no pretense about discussing the book. She said she enjoys my company and would like to know me better outside of group settings. I told her I would think about it, which I recognize is a stalling tactic I would have criticized in a client's tax filing. My son thinks I should go, says his mother would not want me sitting alone with crossword books for the rest of my life. My daughter has said nothing directly but her silence on the subject seems loaded. Part of me feels going to dinner is a betrayal of thirty-one years, even though I know that is not rational. Part of me is simply out of practice and frankly a little frightened of making conversation with someone who is not asking me to check her grammar. Carol is expecting an answer by Sunday.

#relationships

anonymous ask · Sep 9, 2026 · 264 votes · 2 comments