AITA for refusing to loan my husband's deployment pay to his sister?
My husband (35M) has been deployed 5 months, home in about 4 more. Part of his pay while he's gone is FSA (family separation allowance), basically extra money because he's away from us, and I manage the whole household budget solo with our three kids while he's gone. His sister Amber (31F) texted me last week asking to borrow $2,000 for a car repair, said she'd pay it back before he's home. I said no, that money isn't sitting around, it covers actual bills and I've got zero backup if one of the kids needs something or the car dies on me too. I offered $200, she said that was insulting. She called our mother in law, who then called me and said I'm "hoarding hazard pay while he's risking his life" and that family helps family. Now there's a group chat with his mom, his two aunts, and Amber all weighing in about how tight I am with money, meanwhile none of them have offered to actually help me with the kids in five months. I told my husband on our call this weekend and he just sighed and said "can you guys work it out before I'm back," which honestly made it worse. I'm not talking to his mom right now. Amber's telling everyone I changed since he deployed.
What People Are Saying
You're holding down THREE kids solo for 5 months and they're mad you won't hand over your safety net?! Stay STRONG 💪 NTA
Girl NO. That's YOUR grocery money and emergency fund, not a family ATM. $200 was generous honestly 🌮
not your job to bail out grown adults not the a hole she can get a loan like everyone else
That money is for your family. Not the A-hole. Kin ought to help you, not ask you for more.
You offered a compromise and were called insulting for it, dear. Family emergencies do not entitle one to someone else's safety net. NTA.
wait they made a WHOLE group chat to gang up on you literally unhinged behavior NTA fr fr 😭😭
you're managing three kids solo on a deployment and they're mad you won't hand over a rainy day fund. absolutely not. NTA.
You are carrying a heavy load alone with grace. Family should offer help, not demand money. You are not the a-hole, dear.
literally the group chat thing is so unhinged like none of them watched your kids for FIVE MONTHS but they got time to text 😭😭
nah you budgeting for 3 kids solo while he's deployed and she mad about $200 lol ntah fr fr
Should I stay in my house, move downtown, or move near my daughter in Ohio?
Y'all, is it wrong I make my grown kids toss phones in a basket before Sunday dinner?!
Should Bill and I go to our son's in Denver, our daughter's in Austin, or just stay put for Christma
AITA for making my son pay off the dent he put in my truck out of pocket instead of filing insurance
@whiggins_carsguy
funny how nobody offered babysitting but everybody's got opinions on your bank account. NTA