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AITA for refusing to lend my son more money after he never paid back the first loan?

My son Danny (52M) opened a barbecue restaurant three years ago. I gave him $12,000 to help with the equipment, no papers, just a handshake like my Daddy taught me. He never paid a dime of it back. Last month he calls saying the restaurant is behind on rent and he needs $30,000 or he loses the building. I told him no. Told him straight, I said until that first loan is settled we are not talking about a second one. He got upset, said I was punishing him for trying to build something, said his sister never had to earn my help when she needed the down payment on her house. Ruth (74F) thinks I should help anyway, she says family is family and money is not worth this. Danny hasnt called since. His wife text Ruth saying the kids keep asking why Grandpa wont come to the birthday party this weekend. I still send Ruth over with a casserole every sunday but Danny wont come to the phone. Told Ruth I am not made of money and a man ought to keep his word on a debt before he asks for more. She thinks I am being stubborn in my old age. Maybe I am.

#aita#family

asked by @hjennings_lawn · Aug 21, 2026 · 184 votes · 3 comments

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@priyac_eats

aww this is so sad though 😢 barbecue dreams and family fights dont mix well, hope they work it out over some ribs🍖

@coltonm_rides

bro loaned 12k on a handshake then acts shocked when it goes sideways 💀 NTA but man family drama hits different

@frankd_ny

Ya keep ya word before ya ask for more. Simple. NTA, sorry not sorry.

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