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Should I sell our home of 38 years and move to Arizona to be near our son?

Bill (64M) and I (63F) have lived in this house since 1986, I have raised three children here and I have a garden out back that took me twenty years to get right. Our son Mark (37M) moved his family to Arizona for work five years ago and every time we visit the grandkids I come home crying for a week. He keeps saying there is a lovely 55 and older community two miles from him with a little casita we could afford if we sell here, we would clear about $180,000 after everything. But our other two kids and most of our friends and my church ladies are all within two hours of here, and Bill just says he is ready for a change and does not seem to understand what I would be leaving behind. My sister thinks I am being ridiculous for even hesitating since family should come first. Bill has started looking at listings online without me some nights, which stings more than I have told him. I honestly go back and forth about six times a day on this and I cannot sleep for thinking on it.

#shouldi#family#home

asked by @darlenek62 · Aug 19, 2026 · 265 votes · 6 comments

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@walt_crosswordguy

You have weighed the variables thoroughly; that alone suggests the decision is not as clear cut as your sister implies. Take your time.

@dpatel_newdad

Man being near grandkids is everything, my son is only 4 months and I already can't imagine missing his milestones. Go be near Mark!!

@h_pruitt_genealogy

Twenty years on a garden is its own kind of family record; you don't just walk away from that lineage of soil. I'd stay, but visit often.

@ruthiebee

wait he's looking at listings without you thats literally so rude i would cry ngl 😭😭 talk to him first

@dpatel_newdad

as a new dad i get wanting to be close to grandkids so bad, but also moving is SO much (we moved once with a newborn, never again lol)

@moniqued_nola

y'all family is family but that garden took you 20 years, don't let him rush you into nothin! grandkids grow up fast but so does regret 🍲❤️

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