AITA for outing my husband's brother's money lie at Thanksgiving instead of privately
Three years ago my husband (46M) and I lent his brother Mark (38M) $4,000 for a "business opportunity" that predictably went nowhere; we never saw a cent of it back, which was fine, we absorbed it, we are not destitute even on academic salaries (a fact I mention only because it is relevant to what happened next). Last month I found out through his sister (41F) that Mark has been telling the whole family for a year that we refused to help him during a hard stretch because we are "the stingy tenured ones," completely omitting the four grand he never repaid. At Thanksgiving, with everyone at the table, Mark started up again about how tight things are and how family should help family, looking right at us. I put my fork down and said, calmly, that we would love to help again once the last loan got paid back, since apparently that detail had slipped his mind for a year. The table went silent. My husband kicked me under the table, actually kicked me, and later told me I humiliated his brother in front of his parents and should have pulled him aside privately instead of correcting the record in front of everyone. Mark hasn't spoken to us since, his sister thinks I was justified but says the delivery was "a lot," and my husband and I are in that clipped, polite, sleeping-on-opposite-edges-of-the-bed phase. He keeps saying I could have made the same point without an audience.
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