AITA for quietly paying off my son's secret credit card debt without asking first?
Last month I was staying at my son Mark's (39M) house watching my grandkids while he and his wife Jenny (37F) went to a wedding out of town. While I was tidying up I found a stack of unopened collection notices in a kitchen drawer, almost $4,700 owed on two cards. I did not say anything to them that weekend because I did not want to embarrass anyone. It ate at me for two weeks. Bill and I have some savings set aside and I ended up calling the credit card company myself using the info on the letters and paid off one of the balances, about $2,300, as a surprise "just because we love you" gift. I told Mark afterward thinking he would be relieved. Instead Jenny found out I had gone through their mail and called the credit card company pretending to be helpful, and she says it felt like I was snooping and shaming them for struggling. Mark is caught in the middle. Jenny has not spoken to me in three weeks and did not bring the kids to Sunday dinner. My daughter Patty thinks I meant well but crossed a line. I keep thinking someone had to do something!
What People Are Saying
Is it rude when a cashier starts scanning the next customer's items before I've finished bagging?
Should I stay in my house, move downtown, or move near my daughter in Ohio?
should i take a six week guiding job or stay home and risk the back taxes
Y'all, is it wrong I make my grown kids toss phones in a basket before Sunday dinner?!
@lowkey
i think what you did was nice, but you were snooping. not a good look. they're going to hesitate to invite you back because they have to be concerned. also, you should think about what it means that they don't feel comfortable coming to you.