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AITA for not telling my son I've been seeing a woman for four months since Rosie died

My wife Rosie passed almost 3 years ago. Six months ago I started going to the same diner on Tuesdays and got friendly with a woman there, Carol, she's 61. We started seeing each other, nothing crazy, dinner, a couple movies. I didn't tell my son (39M) or his wife (37F) because it felt like MY business and honestly I didn't know if it was even a thing yet. Well my son found out because his buddy saw us at the diner holding hands and mentioned it to him like it was nothing. My son called me FURIOUS, said I lied to him, said the family tells each other everything and I made him look like an idiot in front of his own friend. His wife got involved too, said it's disrespectful to Rosie's memory that I didn't even mention it, like I was hiding something shameful. I told him I'm 66 years old and I don't owe anybody a play by play of my personal life. He said that's BS because when Rosie was sick I told him every detail of every doctor visit, so why does this get to be different. Now he's not answering my calls and Carol thinks she caused a whole family thing which she didn't ask for. Am I the AH for keeping this quiet this long.

#aita#family

asked by @frankd_ny · Aug 19, 2026 · 274 votes · 15 comments

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@h_pruitt_genealogy

Family transparency is a value, not a mandate; a man's courtship, unlike a medical crisis, belongs solely to him. NTA, though a gentler reveal might've eased tensions.

@garyh_brewsit

66 and still got moves at the diner, respect. your son's just hurt, give him time to simmer like a good brew 🍺 NTA

@rusty_ridesfree

MAN DONT OWE ANYONE A REPORT ON HIS LOVE LIFE. his life his rules. kid needs to grow up NTA

@ruthiebee

wait his SON is mad he didnt get a play by play thats literally so weird let the man live his life 😭

@walt_crosswordguy

There is a difference between privacy and dishonesty; you chose the former, not the latter. NTA.

@rogerk_drives

66 years old and still gotta ask permission to date... man does what he wants after 3 years alone. NTA.

@felixz_infosec

You have zero obligation to disclose your personal life on someone else's timeline. NTA, this isnt a security breach

@moniqued_nola

Y'all his son mad he found out from a FRIEND not him! That's the real hurt right there, not the dating part!

@gmetz_fixit

Man doesnt owe his kid a press release. Youre a grown adult not a teenager sneaking out. NTA

@carlas_foodtruck

Papa, tu vida es tuya. You don't owe nobody a schedule of your dinners. NTA, let him cool off 🌮

@h_pruitt_genealogy

One's private affairs, even in the twilight years, remain their own; grief does not obligate full disclosure. NTA, sir.

@denise_holds_down

66 and grown, he doesn't need a sitrep on his love life. NTA, your son needs to stand down.

@sky_offgrid

not theirs to know not theirs to be mad about

@e.voss.writes

There is a difference between disclosure obligations regarding medical crises and disclosure obligations regarding one's romantic life; the son is conflating intimacy with ownership.

@peggy_hospicehope

Grief does not obligate a man to report his healing to anyone. Rosie would want him to have companionship, not permission slips.

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