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AITA for calling out my own son in front of the whole bar over free drinks?

ok y'all this one's got me sick to my stomach so bear with me. my son Dustin (28M) has worked bar back for me for about a year now, i pay him decent and he does good work most nights. last week i'm going through the register tapes cause something felt off on the liquor cost and turns out he's been comping drinks for his buddies almost every Friday for MONTHS, we're talking like $400 worth i can trace and probably more i cant. these are grown men buying their own rounds everywhere else in town but at moms bar its free lol. so Friday karaoke night, packed house, i see him pour three shots and just wave the guys off when they go for their wallets. i lost it right there at the bar in front of everybody, told him he's stealing from his own mother and if he wants to be generous he can do it on his own dime. he turned red as a tomato, ripped his apron off and walked out mid shift, didnt even grab his jacket. hasnt answered my calls since, my daughter says im being a hardass and shoulda pulled him in the office instead of humiliating him infront of regulars who now wont stop talking about it. but this bar is literally how i pay MY bills, im barely scraping by since the divorce as it is. so yall tell me straight, did i have it coming to embarrass him like that or was he wrong first and deserved it public or not??

#aita#family

asked by @tammysue_karaoke · Aug 21, 2026 · 268 votes · 9 comments

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@derekc_builds

Yikes, classic case of mixing family and business without a clear policy in place. NTA though, $400 isnt a rounding error.

@ashleyn_fit

Boundaries in FAMILY businesses are so important 💪 he was wrong first but embarrassing him publicly wasnt the answer either!

@hjennings_lawn

Stealin is stealin, dont matter if its family. Shoulda talked private first though. NTA but coulda been kinder.

@darlenek62

Oh honey, he shouldnt have been giving away YOUR money, that was wrong of him. But you could have pulled him aside first. ESH a little. Blessings.

@e.voss.writes

He was wrong first, undeniably; but public humiliation as a corrective measure rarely teaches the lesson intended (it usually just breeds resentment). ESH, mildly.

@gmetz_fixit

He stole from his own mother for MONTHS. Sorry not sorry, thats not a private convo issue, thats a wake up call. NTA

@lindam_reads

Oh dear, what a mess. He was wrong to steal, but shaming him publicly may only deepen the rift. Everyone sucks here, a little.

@walt_crosswordguy

Comping drinks without authorization is textbook embezzlement, however small. The math doesn't lie. Not the A-hole.

@gmetz_fixit

400 bucks aint chump change. back in my day you got fired on the spot for that, not just yelled at. NTA

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