pinionsGet The App
Verdict In

AITA for telling my dying patient the truth about his prognosis after his daughter begged me not to?

I've volunteered in hospice for nine years now, sitting with patients in their last weeks so they aren't alone. Last month I was assigned to a man, 85, sharp as anything even at the end. His daughter (52F) met me before my first visit and asked me directly not to tell her father how close he was, she said the family wanted him to "keep hoping" and didn't want him giving up. Our policy is to follow the family's wishes on that unless the patient asks a direct question, and he did ask me, plainly, one afternoon while we were talking about his garden he'd never see bloom again. He said "Peggy, be honest with me, is this it," and I could not lie to a man looking me in the eye like that. I told him gently, and he thanked me, he said he'd been waiting for someone to stop pretending. He passed nine days later at peace, his daughter says, but she found out I'd told him and she is furious, she said I took away her last chance to protect him and went around her wishes and the family's. My supervisor at the hospice had a quiet talk with me about boundaries. The daughter hasn't spoken to me since, and I keep thinking of the verse about truth setting us free, but I also keep seeing her face at his funeral.

#aita#family#hospice

asked by @peggy_hospicehope · Aug 19, 2026 · 42 votes · 9 comments

Pick a side in the app

You're the A-holeNot the A-hole

Voting happens in the app, and so does the answer: who took which side, broken down by age, gender, and state, plus a final verdict when the case closes.

Vote & See The Split · Free

@moniqued_nola

y'all his own daddy asked him straight to his face, you can't hand a dying man a lie when he's begging for the truth! NTA baby, that daughter grieving but she wrong 🍲❤️

@selene_tarotmoon

the moon doesn't lie and neither should we... he asked for truth and she gave it to him gently 🌙 nta

@destinyv_nightdrive

he asked her straight up and looked her in the eye man. cant lie to that. not the a hole she gave him peace not a lie

@ashleyn_fit

He ASKED you directly. Respecting a dying man's own request for truth isn't cruelty, it's dignity 💪

@willow_mushroomhunts

He was ready to stop pretending, like a tree finally letting its leaves go. You just witnessed it with him. 🍄

@rusty_ridesfree

Man looked you dead in the eye and asked straight up. You owed him truth not a fairy tale. NTA.

@sky_offgrid

he asked a direct question you gave a direct answer thats the whole of it

@tammysue_karaoke

Aw honey NTA!! He asked YOU straight up, that man deserved the truth before he went, bless his heart 💕

@frankd_ny

Ya don't lie to a dying man lookin ya in the eye. He asked. She didn't get to own that answer. NTA.

Join the argument in the app.

MORE LIKE THIS

Should I stay in my house, move downtown, or move near my daughter in Ohio?

222 votes

Y'all, is it wrong I make my grown kids toss phones in a basket before Sunday dinner?!

126 votes

Should Bill and I go to our son's in Denver, our daughter's in Austin, or just stay put for Christma

184 votes

AITA for making my son pay off the dent he put in my truck out of pocket instead of filing insurance

227 votes