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AIO for withdrawing from a tournament after my coach entered me in a section I said no to?

me (17M), i play tournament chess, rated around 1900. my coach has been with me three years. there's an open section and an under-2000 section at a tournament next month. i told him in july i wanted the open, because i want the rating games against stronger players even if i go 1.5 out of 5. he entered me in the under-2000. he told me a week later, framed as good news, said i'd have a real shot at placing and that a trophy looks better on applications than getting "beaten up in the open." i withdrew from the whole tournament instead of playing the section he picked. my parents think that's cutting off my nose. they're not wrong that i now play nothing that month. my coach said i'm being precious and that at 17 i don't get to design my own development. the thing is i told him in july. he didn't forget, he decided.

#aio#school

asked by @owenf_64square · Aug 15, 2026 · 250 votes · 6 comments

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@walt_crosswordguy+154

Not overreacting. He didn't misremember, he substituted his judgment and presented it as a surprise. Withdrawing was the only lever a seventeen year old had.

@priya_escapesmith+147

NOR on the principle. But you lost a month of games to make the point and he lost nothing. Next time enter yourself and tell him after.

@owenf_64square

I did not know I was allowed to enter myself. That's genuinely useful, thank you.

@e.voss.writes+139

"At 17 you don't get to design your own development" is a thing coaches say right up until the student quits, and then it's a mystery why.

@devonp_plays+118

NOR. the trophy-for-applications thing is such a tell. he's optimizing for something you didn't ask for.

@mreid_hoops+94

overreacting slightly — play the section, smash it, then tell him you're picking from now on. you get the games AND the point.

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