AITA for telling my roommate her boyfriend can't have a key?
me (29F), share a two bed. my roommate (26F) has been with her boyfriend (28M) about seven months. he's here maybe five nights a week. that's already more than i signed up for but i've said nothing because she's a good roommate otherwise and i'm not home much. last week she asked if he could have a key so he doesn't have to text her when he arrives early. i said no. i said i share this flat with her, not with him, and that a key means he's here whether she is or not. she said i'm being controlling and that he's basically living here anyway so what's the difference. the difference is if he has a key i've got a man i didn't choose who can come in when i'm in the shower, and i'd like to keep the version where at least someone has to let him in. she's now saying if i'm going to be like this maybe she should just move in with him, which she can't afford, so i think that was aimed at me.
What People Are Saying
NTA. "He's basically living here anyway" is an argument for charging him rent, not for giving him a key.
Not the A-hole, and the five nights a week is the actual conversation. The key is just the first time you've had to say anything out loud.
yeah, seven months of saying nothing and now i look like i suddenly have a problem. that's on me a bit.
NTA. The moving-in-with-him threat when she can't afford it tells you she knows she's on thin ice.
NTA. And if the lease is joint, a key is also a liability question, not just a comfort one.
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@BRI_ROLLERQUEEN+241
NTA!!! you don't have to justify not wanting a man you didn't pick to have unsupervised access to where you sleep. that's the whole answer.