Should I break up with my boyfriend over him hating my night shifts?
me (31F), ICU nurse, been with Malik (33M) for 2 years. he works a normal 9-5 in sales and lately every single conversation turns into him asking when i'm gonna "get a real schedule." i sleep during the day, i work 3 12s a week, i make good money and i'm actually good at my job, saved lives good at my job. he says he's tired of eating dinner alone and tired of me falling asleep during movie nights and tired of planning around my rotation. i get it, it's not romantic to date someone who smells like hand sanitizer and comes home at 8am talking about a code blue. but nursing is not a hobby i can just drop, i went into 40k debt for this license. last week he brought up a whole spreadsheet, not kidding, comparing our "quality time hours" to his coworker's marriage. i laughed which made it worse. he says he loves me but doesn't know if he can do this long term. i don't know if he's asking me to change my whole career or just venting. we're not fighting exactly, it's just this low grade thing hanging over us now and i'm exhausted, and not just from the shift.
What People Are Saying
y'all a spreadsheet?? SIR. love don't come with a pivot table! he needs to respect what you built, not put it on trial 🍲❤️
a spreadsheet comparing quality time hours... man that says everything he sees you as a schedule not a person. night shift life is lonely enough don't let him make you feel guilty for it too
the moon doesn't ask the tide to change its schedule... if he can't love your rhythm, that's his lesson to learn, not yours to fix 🌙✨
GIRL YOU SAVE LIVES AND HE'S MAD ABOUT DINNER?? SKATE AWAY FROM THAT SPREADSHEET ENERGY 💪🛼 STAY!!
A spreadsheet comparing quality time hours is not romance, it is a performance review. He is grading you like an employee, not loving you like a partner.
the spreadsheet is not really about hours; it's about control disguised as logistics (and that's a much harder thing to negotiate with)
nothing says romance like a pivot table comparing your marriage to Steve from accounting's marriage. break up, keep the license, ditch the excel guy
a spreadsheet lol he really sat down and made charts about your love hours while you were out saving people man that says everything you need to know
Should I accept a dinner invitation from a woman in my book club or stay home?
is it weird to still use the mug my ex gave me for coffee every morning...
my ex texted after 2 months of silence asking to talk in person, do i reply or leave it dead
AIO for being annoyed she only said lol when i said i missed leg day
@nina_thrifts
he made a whole spreadsheet 💀 ngl thats a red flag not a scheduling conflict. you saved lives, he compared you to a coworkers marriage lol