AITA for outing my bowling teammate's sandbagging in the league group chat?
i (58M) run our Tuesday night league at Diamond Lanes, been doing it 11 years. my teammate Ron (56M) and i have bowled together on and off for like 20 years, he's basically my best friend outside my wife. our team, the Alley Cats, has a $500 handicap pot on the line for end of season. for the last 6 weeks i noticed Ron's average kept dipping right before tournament weekend then he'd throw a 258 game once the cash was on the line. i pulled the score sheets, did the math, average should've been around 172 based on his real ball speed and carry but he was posting like 158. that's a sandbag, plain and simple, inflates his handicap so our team gets extra pins we don't deserve. i confronted him quiet at first, he brushed it off said he's just "in a slump." so last week after we WON the pot i put the numbers in the league group chat, screenshots and all, said something like nice slump Ron, must be the cash that cures it. everybody saw it. now half the league thinks i should've just handled it one on one instead of humiliating a 56 year old man in front of 40 people, his wife isn't speaking to me at the potluck, and Ron says he's done bowling here after 20 years. my wife thinks i went nuclear when a quiet word to the board would've fixed it.
What People Are Saying
Dear, there is a difference between honesty and humiliation. A quiet word first would have preserved a 20 year friendship.
sandbagging is straight up cheating imo, exposing him publicly is fair game. gg Ron 😤
Honesty is important but HOW you deliver it matters just as much!! Could've protected the pot AND the friendship 💪
bro exposed him in the group chat like it was a court case 💀 ron cooked either way ngl
Public checkmate over private conversation. Effective, but he lost the friendship in the exchange. NTA on facts, TA on tact.
a 'slump' that clears up the second cash hits the table isn't a slump, it's a spreadsheet problem. NTA.
sounds like Ron's average has more spin than my brewing forum. still, maybe should've bottled that callout privately 🍺
sandbagging is basically match fixing imo, dude cheated the pot for weeks. NTA, gg Ron 😤
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@gmetz_fixit
Back in my day you settled this man to man before the group chat. Still, cheating the pot aint right either.