Should I give up my own tenure clock to follow my husband cross-country for his job?
Context: I (38F) am two years into a tenure-track line at a school I actually like, and my husband (41M) just got offered a genuinely rare position at a university eleven hundred miles away, the kind of job in his field that does not open up twice in a career. We are both academics, so we both know exactly how brutal the market is; there is no guarantee I find anything comparable there, let alone tenure-track, and adjuncting after having a real line feels like a demotion I am not sure my ego (or my CV) survives. He has been very careful not to pressure me, which somehow makes it worse; he keeps saying "we'll figure it out" and I keep saying I need concrete numbers, not vibes. My department chair has hinted at an accelerated review if I stay and keep publishing at this rate. My husband has waited longer than I have for a break like this, and I know it. We have circled this same conversation for three weeks without landing anywhere, and the deadline for his answer is in ten days. I genuinely do not know if I am protecting my career or just protecting myself from the risk of starting over.
#shouldi#relationships#academia
This Case Is Closed
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