Should I give up my own tenure clock to follow my husband cross-country for his job?
Context: I (38F) am two years into a tenure-track line at a school I actually like, and my husband (41M) just got offered a genuinely rare position at a university eleven hundred miles away, the kind of job in his field that does not open up twice in a career. We are both academics, so we both know exactly how brutal the market is; there is no guarantee I find anything comparable there, let alone tenure-track, and adjuncting after having a real line feels like a demotion I am not sure my ego (or my CV) survives. He has been very careful not to pressure me, which somehow makes it worse; he keeps saying "we'll figure it out" and I keep saying I need concrete numbers, not vibes. My department chair has hinted at an accelerated review if I stay and keep publishing at this rate. My husband has waited longer than I have for a break like this, and I know it. We have circled this same conversation for three weeks without landing anywhere, and the deadline for his answer is in ten days. I genuinely do not know if I am protecting my career or just protecting myself from the risk of starting over.
What People Are Saying
y'all he waited his whole life for this and you got a whole department begging you to stay?? that's a real conversation for a marriage counselor not us lol but my gut says stay and build somethin solid ❤️
tenure track vs marriage track, name a worse game show (i'd pick stay, at least academia can't leave dishes in the sink)
Should I accept a dinner invitation from a woman in my book club or stay home?
is it weird to still use the mug my ex gave me for coffee every morning...
my ex texted after 2 months of silence asking to talk in person, do i reply or leave it dead
AIO for being annoyed she only said lol when i said i missed leg day
@bianca_bridalbliss
okay this is giving me BIG feelings 😭 marriage is a partnership but girl you WORKED for that tenure clock!! don't let vibes override your whole career ✨