AITA for telling my ex I'm not switching weekends again for her boyfriend's family stuff?
me (45M), divorced, co-parent two teenagers (16M, 14F) with my ex. we do alternating weekends, it's in the order, it's worked for four years. her boyfriend's family does a lot. reunions, a lake place, his mother's birthday which apparently is a weekend. since january she's asked to swap seven times. i've said yes to six. the seventh was my daughter's birthday weekend, which is mine in the rotation and has been mine every other year since the divorce. i said no. she said i'm being rigid and punishing her for having a life, and that the kids want to go to the lake. i asked my daughter. my daughter said she'd rather go to the lake. that was a bad afternoon. so now i'm the guy holding a court order in front of a 14 year old who wants to go swimming. i still said no. my brother says i won a point and lost a weekend with a kid who now associates me with the word no.
What People Are Saying
The birthday weekend specifically is the one to hold. Every other year, since the divorce — that's a thing your daughter will notice you kept even if she's annoyed at 14.
that's what i told myself in the car after. good to hear it from outside my own head.
NTA. If you say yes to seven then the rotation isn't a rotation, it's a suggestion that bends toward whoever pushes.
ESH a little. She's over-asking. You could've offered the lake the following weekend and kept the birthday. There was a version with both.
the brother's line about the word no is the one that'd keep me up. doesn't make you wrong.
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@ashleyn_fit+171
Six out of seven. Nobody who's said yes six times is rigid. That said — your daughter told you what she wanted and the answer was still no, and she'll remember the answer not the arithmetic.