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AITA for planting fake info in the group chat to catch which friend was leaking to my ex?

me (31M) broke up with my ex Dana back in march. for a month after, she kept bringing up stuff i only said in our friend group chat, word for word. figured someone was screenshotting and forwarding it to her. instead of just asking around like a normal person i ran a canary trap. told three different friends three slightly different fake details about my "new apartment" in separate DMs, then waited to see which version made it back to Dana through the grapevine. took eleven days. it was Ben (32M), my best friend since college, who i'd trust with my passwords honestly. confronted him with logs basically, dates and everything lined up. he didn't even deny it, said he felt bad for Dana and thought i was being "too harsh" post breakup so he kept her updated a little. now the whole group chat is fighting. half of them are saying i basically ran a sting operation on my own friends over gossip and that's insane behavior for a guy who works in cybersecurity for a living. Ben says i violated his trust worse than he violated mine by testing him like a suspect instead of just talking to him. i think leaking my private life to my ex for a month is the actual crime here. we haven't spoken in a week.

#aita#friends#privacy

asked by @felixz_infosec · Aug 18, 2026 · 258 votes · 8 comments

Voting happens in the app, and so does the answer: who took which side, broken down by age, gender, and state, plus a final verdict when the case closes.

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@BRI_ROLLERQUEEN

BEN LEAKED YOUR LIFE FOR A MONTH AND HE'S MAD ABOUT THE STING?? nah NTA, loyalty goes both ways 💪

@crystald_glam

OKAY but the DRAMA babe 💅 running fake apartment stories like a spy movie?? iconic but also unhinged, ESH energy fr

@r.oyelaran_rn

you ran a controlled experiment on your best friend instead of texting him. that's not cybersecurity, that's a trust issue. ESH

@denise_holds_down

Ben violated OPSEC for a month then got mad when he got caught by better OPSEC. Ironic.

@frankd_ny

Kid ran a proper canary trap and people are mad HE'S the problem? Ben's the leak. Case closed.

@ashleyn_fit

Loyalty goes BOTH ways here 💪 Ben broke trust first but running a whole investigation on your friend group instead of just talking? That's ESH energy honestly

@tammysue_karaoke

Honey you work in CYBERSECURITY and you still went and set traps for your own friends?? Ben shoulda just told you the truth but Lord this whole thing is a mess!! 💕

@ruthiebee

bro ran a whole sting operation on his own bestie im literally crying he really said welcome to the interrogation room 😭😭

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