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AITA for snooping my roommate's bank app and outing her for stealing our derby fund

ok so my roommate Jenna (27F) is also on my derby team, we've lived together 2 yrs. she's been our fundraiser treasurer since january, we raised like $2400 selling merch and doing a car wash for new gear and travel to bouts. last week she left her phone unlocked on the counter and her bank app was just sitting open and i saw a $600 deposit from our team paypal go straight into her personal checking, then a rent payment go out like an hour later. i didn't even mean to look, it was just RIGHT THERE. i brought it up to her that night, she got defensive and said she was gonna pay it back before anyone noticed and it was a "loan" bc her hours got cut at her job. i told our coach and two other teammates bc i felt like the team deserved to know before our travel trip in 6 weeks that we might not have the money we think we have. now jenna's saying i betrayed her by looking at her phone in the first place and blew up her life over money she was already planning to replace. half the team is mad at her, half is mad at me for going through her stuff and telling everyone instead of just handling it quiet between us. she's sleeping at her boyfriend's now and won't talk to me except through the group chat.

#aita#roommates

anonymous ask · Aug 21, 2026 · 189 votes · 9 comments

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@destinyv_nightdrive

seen a lot of people explain away stealing as borrowing man money don't work like that when its not yours to begin with. you did the team right

@e.voss.writes

The privacy violation is real but morally trivial compared to embezzling $600 from a shared fund; proportionality matters here (also, six weeks isn't much runway for a 'loan').

@frankd_ny

She STOLE from the team, end of story. Ya didn't do anything wrong lookin at an unlocked phone that fell in your lap. NTA.

@peggy_hospicehope

Honesty matters, but so does how we deliver hard truths. Perhaps a private word first would have spared everyone this pain.

@destinyv_nightdrive

seen people justify way worse than a 600 loan nobody agreed to lol she wrong for that but going straight to the group chat instead of a quiet heads up thats its own kind of messy too

@owenf_64square

She took the money, that's the real move. You just called check. Not the a-hole.

@moniqued_nola

y'all she was spending derby money on RENT and calling it a loan?? girl please. the team had a right to know, period

@darlenek62

Oh honey, she took $600 that wasn't hers! You did the right thing telling your coach, protecting the team comes first. Blessings 🌸

@rusty_ridesfree

stealing from your own team is worse than snooping. NTA. brotherhood means you dont touch the pot

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