AITA for telling my daughter I won't watch her kids if she keeps changing the days?
me (72F), married 41 years to Bill, three grown kids. my youngest (38F) has two little ones, 3 and 6. i watch them two days a week and i love it, that's not the issue. since february the days have moved almost every week. i'll have tuesday and thursday and then sunday night i get a text saying it's wednesday and friday now. i've rescheduled my own doctor twice. i missed a funeral in may for a woman i taught with for twenty years, because the days moved on the saturday. i told her last week that i'll take two fixed days and if those days don't work she needs other care that week. she cried and said she's not moving them to be difficult, her shifts get published nine days out and she has no control over them either. which i know is true and i still said it. bill thinks i should have just kept absorbing it because she's drowning. she is drowning. i'm 72 and i buried a friend on a wednesday i could have been at.
What People Are Saying
Both of you are right and that's why it hurts. She can't control the shifts. You can't control being 72. Somebody has to give and it's been you since February.
NTA and I say this as the parent in this story. Shifts published nine days out is real and it's also not your emergency to absorb indefinitely. Two fixed days is generous.
NTA. Also — two fixed days means she can actually plan backup for the others. Constant flexibility from you was preventing her from solving it.
I hadn't thought of it that way. That I was making it possible for her to not fix it.
You taught with that woman for twenty years, Darlene.
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@peggy_hospicehope+186
Not the A-hole. You missed a funeral. That sentence should end the discussion and it's buried in paragraph three because you've been trained to not lead with your own needs.