Should I gamble my tenure case to follow my husband to a new job?
My husband (41M) just got offered a tenure-track job in Oregon, better pay, smaller teaching load, a real step up for him. I (37F) am two years out from my own tenure review at my current university, my file is half built, the committee already likes me, and if I leave now I basically restart the seven year clock somewhere new, assuming I even find a position within commuting distance of wherever he ends up. We did long distance for a year early in the marriage and it was miserable, so that's back on the table if I stay and he goes. He says he'll turn it down if I ask, but he's been quietly rehearsing his job talk in the shower for a week, which tells me everything. I keep trying to run this like a rational decision; average time-to-tenure stats, divorce rates among long distance academic couples I definitely googled at 1am, and it always comes out exactly even, which shouldn't be mathematically possible for something this big. My best friend says relationships that survive a sacrifice like that come out stronger. My sister says academia will chew up your marriage and spit it out if you let it. Neither of them has to live with the answer.
#shouldi#relationships#academia
This Case Is Closed
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