AIO for being upset nobody asked how I was doing at my son's christening
me (31M), first kid, four months old, i'm on leave. about sixty people. every single one asked my wife how she's doing. genuinely warm, genuinely concerned, several of them at length. i got "how's dad holding up" twice, both times as a joke, both times with a laugh at the end, and one guy asked if i was "allowed out." the honest answer is i've been up at 3am for four months, i've had two panic things i haven't told anyone about, and i'm on leave partly because my wife went back early and i'm doing days alone with him. i'm not competing with her. she carried and delivered a baby and she deserves every single one of those conversations. i just noticed i had sixty conversations and none of them were about me, and then i felt like a monster for noticing.
What People Are Saying
Not overreacting. And the two panic things you haven't told anyone about — tell someone this week. That's the actual post.
Baby, the "felt like a monster for noticing" part is the thing to let go of. Wanting one person to ask isn't competing with her.
NOR. Ask your wife directly to ask you. She's probably assumed you're okay because you've been holding it, and she'd want to know.
Two kids and nobody asked me either time. I'd have said fine anyway. Say the true thing to one person and it gets easier.
@r.oyelaran_rn+251
NOR. Paternal postpartum depression is real, underdiagnosed, and the whole reason it's underdiagnosed is sixty people asking if you're "allowed out."
@dpatel_newdad
i didn't know that had a name. i'm going to look that up.