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Should I finally take Carol to dinner Friday or is 3 years since Angela not enough time

i'm 68, retired NYPD, widower since Angela passed 3 years ago after 41 years married. i cook her gravy every Sunday, still wear my ring, my son (39M) says nothing wrong with moving on but it feels like something. there's a woman, Carol (65F), from the bowling league at the senior center. we've been talking almost every Tuesday for 8 months. she's sharp, makes me laugh, lost her husband too. last week she flat out asked if I wanted to grab dinner Friday, just the two of us, not league stuff. i said i'd think about it. been thinking about it all week. i took the ring off twice and put it back on both times. my daughter in law thinks its sweet and i should go. my son hasnt said much either way but i can tell it weirds him out a little, this was his mother. part of me feels like an old fool getting nervous over a dinner reservation. part of me feels like im cheating on a dead woman. Carol's waiting on an answer and i gotta call her tonight.

#shouldi#relationships#widower

anonymous ask · Aug 21, 2026 · 250 votes · 6 comments

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@baileyf_grows

loving someone new doesn't mean you loved the first one any less... angela would probably just want you to laugh again 🌱

@e.voss.writes

Forty-one years of love does not get erased by one dinner reservation; the ring stays on your hand and in your heart regardless of what you decide (go, Carol sounds patient enough to understand either way).

@destinyv_nightdrive

had a guy in my backseat once said grief isnt a door you close its a room you just stop living in all day every day go to dinner man she waited 8 months for tuesdays

@selene_tarotmoon

the ring comes off and goes back on... your heart already knows, it's just waiting for permission 🌙 go to her

@owenf_64square

You've been thinking eight months, not eight days. That's not impulse, that's a considered move. Go.

@ellenb_hives

grief dont expire but love aint a betrayal either. go to dinner. angela would want you eating something besides your own gravy alone

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