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should i give up open mics for my boyfriend or give up my boyfriend for open mics

me (27F) and my boyfriend Marcus (29M) have been together 2 years. he's great, stable job, texts my mom back, all that. but he hates that i do open mics 3-4 nights a week and get home at 1am smelling like a bar and rejection. last week he said if i'm still doing this in 6 months he's not sure he can "build a life" with someone who's never home at night. he wasn't yelling, it was one of those calm scary talks over dinner. here's the thing, i just got picked to open for a legit touring comic in April, unpaid but the kind of slot people wait years for. i've been doing this almost 3 years, i'm not famous or anything (bombed so hard tuesday a guy actually said "i'm sorry" to me on his way out) but i'm getting better and i can feel it. Marcus isn't asking me to quit forever, just "cut back," but in comedy cutting back basically means quitting, stage time is the whole game. he's not wrong that i'm gone a lot. i'm not wrong that this is the first thing i've ever actually wanted. we're not fighting, we're just both waiting to see what i pick. i genuinely don't know if i'm choosing a joke over a person here.

#shouldi#relationships#comedy

anonymous ask · Aug 21, 2026 · 211 votes · 6 comments

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@ellenb_hives

if a man cant handle you coming home smelling like ambition thats his problem not yours. bees dont apologize for buzzing

@denise_holds_down

I've held down a whole household solo during deployments. Ultimatums dressed up as calm dinners are still ultimatums. Take the opener slot.

@ashleyn_fit

You don't build a life by SHRINKING yourself for someone else's comfort. Keep grinding on that stage 💪 the right person claps for your comeback, not your quiet.

@ruthiebee

wait the april slot literally IS the plot twist you cant give that up for a guy who texts ur mom back 😭😭

@mreid_hoops

nah keep grinding stage time fr fr you dont quit training bc someone dont like the gains 🔥

@owenf_64square

Sounds like he's asking you to sacrifice your best piece to protect the king. Don't do it.

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