AITA for benching my best friend for a rookie skater before our biggest bout?
ok so backstory, me (27F) and my best friend Dana (28F) have skated together on the same derby team for FOUR YEARS, roomed at every away bout, whole thing. i got voted co-captain this season which already made stuff weird between us bc she wanted it too. last week our coach asked me to help finalize the roster for saturday's bout against our biggest rival, packed house, scouts from the travel team coming to watch. Dana's been skating rough lately, missed practice like 6 times this season bc of her job, and honestly our rookie jammer Priya (22F) has been killing it in scrimmage. i put Priya in Dana's usual blocker slot. Dana found out from the group chat before i told her myself, which i feel like garbage about, and now she's saying i only did it to look good for scouts since i'm chasing a travel team spot too. she's not answering my texts, skipped practice tuesday, and our other teammates are kind of split, some say roster decisions should be about performance not friendship, some think i should've talked to her first or pulled her aside privately instead of letting her see it posted. we've got the bout in 4 days and i genuinely don't know if she's even showing up.
What People Are Saying
ngl the group chat reveal is what makes this bad, roster call is fair but that part is lowkey brutal 💀
lol my name is literally priya and even I think you should've told your bestie first 😅 roster call makes sense but that reveal was ROUGH
the moon was in scorpio when secrets get exposed publicly... you should've pulled her aside under quieter skies 🌙 not the a-hole for choosing skill, but the timing wounded her
performance matters but so does how you treat people... telling her yourself before it hit the group chat would've cost you nothing. NTA on the roster, TA on the delivery.
sounds like this team needs less drama and more of my ipa 🍺 but yeah shoulda told her first, that's just common courtesy
Performance based decisions are fine. Communication was the failure. Fix that before the bout not after.
finding out from the group chat instead of a DM is a leak, not a coaching decision. NTA for the roster, TA for the opsec fail.
shoulda pulled her aside first tho... the group chat reveal is what makes it messy not the actual bench spot
nah performance over feelings every time fr fr you making a business decision not a friendship one 🔥 NTA
finding out from the group chat? that's a breakup text energy right there (also relatable, my last open mic booking was rescinded the same way)
roster decisions gotta be based on performance, no cap. still shoulda pulled her aside first tho, that timing was rough 😤
Oh honey, you should have told her privately before it went up! Performance matters but so does kindness. Not the A-hole, but please go talk to her face to face. Blessings 🌸
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@carlas_foodtruck
performance over feelings when the stakes are that high, but mija you tell your best friend face to face first, no excuses 🌮