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AITA for telling my landlord I know he's been in the flat?

me (25F), i rent above the shop i run. the landlord (62M) owns both. things move. not stolen, moved. a chair angled differently, a drawer not quite shut, and in july a candle i keep on the sill was on the table. i started photographing the flat before i left. three weeks later i had a match — photo at 8am, photo at 6pm, two things different. i sent him the two photos and said i know he's been in and i want notice like the lease says. he said he has to check the shop's plumbing which runs through my kitchen, that he's the owner, and that i'm being paranoid about a chair. he hasn't denied being in. that's what i keep coming back to. he's arguing about whether it matters, not about whether it happened. my friend says i've made my housing situation fragile over a candle. i've got eight months left on the lease and the shop lease is with the same man.

#aita#roommates

anonymous ask · Aug 11, 2026 · 307 votes · 6 comments

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@crystald_glam+257

NTA. photographing the flat before you leave is not paranoid, it's what women do when something's off and everyone tells them it's nothing

@felixz_infosec+249

He didn't deny it. That's the entire post and everything else is him relitigating whether you're allowed to mind.

@r.oyelaran_rn+246

Not dramatic. Correct. And check what notice your jurisdiction actually requires — it's often stricter than the lease says and he may be counting on you not knowing.

@destinyv_nightdrive+241

NTA. And get everything in writing from here — every request, every response. Not because you'll need it. Because if you do need it there's no other version.

@ellenb_hives+232

NTA. A candle on a table is a small thing and it is also how you know someone stood in your kitchen while you were downstairs.

@selene_tarotmoon+228

i've started emailing rather than texting for exactly that reason. it feels dramatic and i'm doing it anyway.

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