should i give up derby for my boyfriend of 3 yrs or keep skating and maybe lose him??
ok so me (27F) and my boyfriend Tyler (29M) have been together 3 years and last month i cracked my collarbone in a bout, my SECOND fracture in 18 months. he sat in the ER with me and after just said flat out he's done watching me get carried off the track, wants me to hang up the skates for good. derby is literally my whole identity outside my retail job, i've been jamming for 5 years, i'm on our A team roster, we've got regionals in march and i'm one of our top scorers. he's not asking me to quit anything else, no ultimatum about my job or my tattoos or my friends, just this. he says he pictures us having kids eventually and he's scared i'll get hurt worse, and honestly the collarbone thing set us both back financially bc i couldn't work retail shifts for 3 weeks either. my team is already down two skaters this season and i know if i walk they're probably scrapping our lineup for regionals. my derby wife literally cried when i told her i was even considering it. i love tyler, i can see myself with him long term, but i also feel like i'd be giving up the one thing that's just MINE. we've gone around in circles for weeks and i genuinely don't know which way to go anymore.
What People Are Saying
ngl if he loved the whole you he wouldn't ask you to erase the part that's just yours. keep skating fr
baby if derby is YOUR thing don't let a man collar you out the door, y'all figure out safety gear before you figure out quitting!! 🍲❤️
bro regionals in march thats not a small ask lol tough spot but ya cant just give up ur whole thing 💀
Two broken bones in 18 months. He's not controlling, he's scared. Listen to him.
babe if he loved the WHOLE you he wouldn't ask you to erase the part that makes you YOU 💅🔥 keep skating!!!
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@peggy_hospicehope
Love should make room for who you are, not shrink you. Perhaps there is a path that honors both his fear and your joy.