should i move to portland with my boyfriend or keep my thursday residency and the shop

me (29f) been dating tomas (32m) for almost 3 years. hes an engineer and just got offered a job in portland, 40 percent more salary than what hes making here, moves in 6 weeks. hes asking me to come with him... no ring, no proposal, just come and well figure it out. problem is ive been at the record shop 6 years, i finally got the thursday night residency at the bar down the street last spring after bugging the owner for like 2 years, its not even close to a real dj career but its mine and people request my sets now. if i leave i got nothing lined up in portland, no job, no crate connections, no regulars who know my name when i drop dorothy ashby into a set. tomas says the crate digging thing can happen anywhere, theres record stores everywhere. hes not wrong but its not the same as building it from scratch again at 29 with savings around 4k to my name. my roommate says go, my coworker says im an idiot if i leave a good gig for a guy with no ring on it. i genuinely dont know which regret id survive worse

#shouldi#relationships#dj

anonymous ask · Aug 19, 2026 · 168 votes · 0 comments